fabulous sebastian

New column for the fabulous sebastian and Mister J

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:42:43 GMT

If you are living in Brisbane, grab the latest issue of Rave magazine which contains the debut instalment of the newest collaboration between Mister J and the fabulous sebastian...

DVD Purgatory

It's a fornightly column where we review a selection of the dodgier films on the shelves. And we do mean dodgy.

If you don't live in Brisbane, you can download a pdf of the issue at the Rave website. And go to Page 35.

www. ravemagazine. com. au

For those of you that don't follow the movie reviews that Mister J and I do for various places (eg latest edition of Filmink magazine), we have decided to start posting them to our new blog.

http://dvdpurgatory. blogspot. com

Check out the stuff that we watch so that you don't have to. Send us love. Send us work. Support our friends.

Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:53:40 GMT

As an antidote for the singing ignoramuses that have invaded the city, I offer you Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog by Joss Whedon (of Buffy, Angel, and Firefly fame). Each episode is only online for a week, so be quick. Go to the website now.

http://www.drhorrible.com/index.html

Nigerian Scams and Wacky Carvings

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 02:48:15 GMT

Surely we all get a kick out of the people who take the time to scam the Nigerian scamsters. 419eater is a great scambaiting site, and this story made me laugh more than usual. I want those carvings.

scamming the scamsters

Stuff to part with since moving.

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 03:02:16 GMT

I recently moved in to my lovely ex doctor's surgery in Newtown and I want to dispose of some stuff.

I decided the Altec Lansing 5.1 sound system for my computer takes up too much space. It is 5 small cube speakers and the bass speaker , and it sounds pretty good.

I also have a 5 disc CD player (probably a Yamaha, but may be a Sony) that I have also decided takes up too much space. It has a remote and I probably have the manual too.

If anyone wants them let me know. I know very few people in Sydney, so please spread the word. Price will be whatever meager donation you want to make. Maybe you will take me to dinner in exchange. Both are complete and fully functioning.

I also have a new stainless steel kitchen sink.

I may also part with a pair of Jamo speakers and my 84cm Loewe television (old style 4:3, so it is quite big and heavy) if anyone is interested. Once again, the price will not be much.

Moving hell

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:13:39 GMT

Last week I moved house from one end of Newtown to the middle. I normally don't mind moving, but this time has been unpleasant. Mainly because the house is not yet fully habitable. I have power and lights in less than half the rooms, no telephone, no internet, no kitchen, and no antenna connection. Welcome to the joys of renovating.

On the plus side, I have 4m ceilings and a professional art hanging system (which will look great when I have the time and space to hang my pictures). And I get to eat on King Street and Enmore Road for every meal.

I will expect visitors to marvel at my big walls and take away my empty cardboard boxes. I have enough boxes to build a small house.

And I have spare kitchen sink if anyone wants it.

Under The Blue Moon appearances

Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:15:25 GMT

The time is upon us for the festival of the year...

http://www.myspace.com/utbm

...and I know you are all wondering where I will be and what I will be doing.

When I am not lost in a sea of black sexiness I will be...

- appearing as DJ23 at the Buzzzbar between 12:45 and 1:30.

- hosting the Dying to Play concert/performance, as Count Sebastian, at The Factory Theatre from 5pm to 11pm.

I hope to see you there.

sebastian

ps You can read my Mz Ann Thropik article, and Black Sheep review, in the latest issue of Fiend to fill in the lonely times when you can't see me.

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon review

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 06:04:28 GMT

This may well be one of the worse films ever made, and that makes it totally brilliant. It is certainly one of the most entertaining films you will ever watch. You will be glued to the screen either criticising everything that is happening, or laughing at it. I did both.

Megalodon is a prehistoric shark that is terrorising the coast of Mexico. It's lucky they tell us it is Mexico because the shoreline doesn't look like North America. The casting is credited to Sofia, in Bulgaria, and I am guessing the movie was filmed on location there.

The shark attacks are happening at the resort where John Barrowman (Captain Jack Harkness in Torchwood and Doctor Who) works. He can't identify the shark tooth he finds, but palaeontologist Jenny McShane can. She arrives and wants to save the shark. Barrowman wants to kill it. After another attack, McShane throws away her pursuit of scientific knowledge and is lusting for the creature's blood also. Throw in an evil corporation and an ex Navy diver and you are set for 'action'. It's very much the story to Jaws and, at one point, the music is even eerily similar to John Williams score from Jaws.

The script is less laughably simplistic, and the acting worse than a preschool play. There are times when Jenny McShane looks to be laughing rather than being upset. They have tried to compensate for the these shortcomings by having bikini clad women walking across screen at regular intervals. That stunt is even more obvious, and clumsy, than it sounds. The effects are diabolical, but no worse than some I have seen in much more prestigious films. Of course those films were made thirty years ago, but that is not relevant.

John Barrowman is probably embarrassed that this film has made it to DVD. It may have seemed like a good idea to him back in 2002, when he was a starving actor, but, now that he has some level of credibility, he might view his decision in a different light. It's not all bad for him. One of his lines has made it in to film history for its dubious qualities. We always know the two leads will fall for each other, but the only build up to that moment is this scene...

Jenny McShane: "I'm tired'

John Barrowman: "Me too. But you know, I'm really wired. How about I take you home and eat your pussy."

If only dating was that simple.

There should be two scales of rating movies, one for the good and one for the delightfully bad. If there was two scales, this would be 5 out of 5. Watch it with someone you love, or hate, today.

What Would Jesus / Sex Pistols Do?

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 00:20:03 GMT

I see a lot of people wearing the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) bracelet. Of course this confuses me. How would they know what Jesus would do?

Jesus…

was a Jewish priest

lived 2000 years ago

lived in the Middle East (Galilee)

lived in a country under the control of a foreign power (Romans)

Can Jesus’ followers today relate or understand any of that? We can barely relate to our parents/children let alone someone many, many generations removed in another country.

The texts that make up the New Testament have been translated and retranslated (by people with little of no understanding of Jesus’ times and customs), vary from church to church, and are of questionable authenticity and accuracy, and were carefully selected from all available texts to be sure they supported the church’s view of the ‘facts’.

My point is, people who wear the WWJD bracelets do not really know Jesus or what he would do. They have a very distorted image of him that stems from churches that were not established by Jesus and have little to do with his teachings.

We need a more realistic approach to ask who to act in a situation. My solution…

What would the Sex Pistols do?

They are more current. Their history is well documented. There are five to choose from, and that gives you quite an option of responses. Try it. It might work for you.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 04:03:07 GMT

It’s time to reveal what was meant to happen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The released version was not the story that was originally planned. JK Rowling had been in communication with George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, while writing the final chapter of her wizard’s juvenile epic. George told JK he was interested in linking together the two immensely popular series. George had publicly stated he had no intentions of filming, or writing, the final three chapters (Episodes 7 to 9) of the Star Wars saga but he didn’t want to see his greatest creation die.

JK’s original draft of the Deathly Hallows included these plot elements that were later removed when no agreement on royalties could be reached...

Harry’s parents are revealed to be Princess Leia and Han Solo who had travelled from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away through a wormhole in time and space to arrive on Earth in our era.

Lord Voldemort is the Emperor, and he has been constantly changing bodies to stay alive and continue his search for vengeance against the Skywalker clan.

Voldemort/Emperor believes Harry to be the last in the Skywalker lineage.

Dumbledore mentions a cult (more to be revealed in the upcoming book, The Skywalker Code) that claims there are surviving descendants of Luke Skywalker. These include Hermione Granger.

Magic is actually the Force as it manifests on Earth.

Hagrid was revealed to be a near ageless Jedi Knight in the style of Yoda.

Severus Snape was previously a Sith Lord known as Darth Distructa but Hagrid convinced him to renounce the Dark Side.

Draco Malfoy is converted to the dark side by Voldemort/Emperor and becomes the Sith Lord, Darth Draco.

The final battle involves Harry, Hagrid, and Snape against Voldemort/Emperor, Draco, and the members of Slytherin House.

Hagrid and Snape are killed saving Harry, but are seen in spectral form with Yoda at the end of the book.

The fate of the surviving members of Slytherin House is unclear as they are last seen disappearing with Draco, who abandons the Emperor/Voldemort during the final battle to save himself.

Harry seemingly kills the Emperor/Voldemort.

The book closes with a scene 19 years in the future. Earth has become part of the Galactic Republic and Hogwarts is now an academy for Jedi Knights. The final scene is Darth Draco, standing on the deck of an intergalactic battleship with a horde of Sith Lords behind him, talking to a figure in a red cloak.

Stay Tuned for Harry Potter Episode 8.